we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
