ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
