Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
