my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
