Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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