you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
