Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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