I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
