direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
