I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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