my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
