respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
