you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
