i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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