I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just had sex on a roof
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i out mim tonsoeep
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