just come out here and I will go home with you...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
