Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
