Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
