So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
