i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
