i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
