Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
