and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
