Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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