Just fell off a train. Bad.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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