I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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