I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
