so that wasnt chicken after all
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
