To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
