you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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