just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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