you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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