No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize