yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
