For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
