Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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