Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
