He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
