YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
