Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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