still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
