so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
