If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He did a backflip because drugs
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
