At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
