is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
