Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
