a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
