Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
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