There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
