His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
