Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
