Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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