I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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