1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
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