She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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