kristin has been a bad kristin
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
