I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
