Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
