is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
you had me at cake vodka
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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