your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
