put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
