I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
