I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
