i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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